mocha-choco-lata ya ya

Monday, July 31

i had another "hot" arguement with my mum again. our ideas and dreams are so different it amazes me.

my parents are sometimes so dogmatic in their thinking. i'd really hate to be an adult. my mum says that it's natural, it's all part of growing up and after you hit a certain age, your life experiences dictates you to be the conservative (in thinking) person that you become. I strongly disagree. After one degree, it has proven to me that no matter your age, no matter how mature your thinking has become, you DO NOT have to be an adult. there's a significant difference i feel.

since young, my parents have been really protective of us. yes, they let me stay out late etc and other stuff, but protective in terms of the activities i do. my parents have never been the sort to try things that might seem "extreme" to them. we never got kayak, ski, rock climb, snorkel, dive, bungee jump on holidays. rides in theme parks were restricted to the "turning teacups" sort and surfing was totally out of the question. that, i think, led to the introverted, shy girl with low self confidence which was me.

but gradually as i spread my wings, i got to try and experience some of those things. and in them, i finally found my passion. a passion so strong that drives me, that i want to make it and integral part of my life.

i mention about a job in obs - straight no for an answer; maybe as a short term job while looking for a more stable job. i dare not even mention the dream elynn xty and i have about opening some outdoor-related company (ala pacwest) in future. i mean sure, i have other dreams like human psychology, philosophy, forensics, medicine etc. but those dreams shouldn't restrict my passion.

sometimes my parents are too focused on grades, good career, making money and living comfortably. i would rather be poor and happy because i love what i'm doing, then be rich yet unhappy because i hate what i'm doing.

maybe you think that i'm ignorant and idealistic to think that i would ever choose to be poor but happy. and you think that as i experience more and grow older and "wiser", i would finally realise the importance of money and assets and that what i've just said would turn to dust. but i don't belive that - we always have a choice. but as long as im alive, there is much to celebrate about, expecially since many people don't even have the luxury of staying alive to see tomorrow.

living in singapore is really a blessing and a curse. i'm so blessed that my every need is taken care of and i live comfortably. yet it's a curse because i will never get to experience what others are experiencing in their countries. youths around asia are tackling issues like youth and HIV AIDS and youths in singapore are tackling issues like the apathy of singaporean youngsters. ironically, i feel that the very reason we are apathetic is simply becaused we're too blessed. i felt so small at one degree asia, but my takeaway is so great. my learning curve has been so steep.

i just wanted to thank everyone, for the experiences, for the journey, and for the unforgettable memories.

i think i'm a free spirit, i can't be controlled, only harnessed.

`wordsofthecynical
7:33 pm

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