mocha-choco-lata ya ya

Monday, July 10

so, it was not meant to be the règne du Français, guess i expected it.

i'm so full i'm about to burst.
how much more can i handle...

you know, i'm so moody and on a shot fuse now everyon should stand clear. everything you do, i might mistake your intentions. everything thing you say, i might misintepret it. like now.

i found out a few things during the course of this weekend.
i can't remember all, but yeah i remember.

1. i am afraid of some people. i am afraid that they're irritable, i am afraid what i say makes them more irritated, i am afraid when they ~~don't seem to be very happy~~ are moody. which is why i stay clear of them then. esp you.

2. i don't dao people when they talk to me online. even when i'm busy or really pressed to meet deadlines, i don't dao. of course don't expect very enthusiastic rapid responses, expect delayed replies. the only time i dao someone is when i'm so busy and so pressed to meet deadlines, that i feel stressed, pressurised, suppressed and sometimes suffocated until i'm teetering on the verge of breaking down. but you didn't need to know that.
3. i don't like and never will ~~bluff~~ lie. yes, if i feel i shouldn't tell you something i WILL tell you i can't say it. but i will not lie to cover anything. if i want to tell you something, i will say it to your face. and anyway if i was going to lie to you why would i even tell you abt it in the first place. i could have not said anything to you and you wouldn't even know about it.
4. Sometimes i wonder where i stand. maybe not very ~~important~~ high anymore.

5. i am ~~weak~~ not always strong. just that no one thinks so.
if you think i misintepreted wrongly, fine, i'm sorry. it's no excuse.
6. outings with friends (&just the friends) are very important distractions to the pressures of life. i had such a good time at kayaking, guitar concert, even flag day. but, they're only distractions. when you're alone, you start thinking alot. and not all of the thoughts are nice happy ones. but i look forward to even greater times with friends.

7. i am my worst detractor. i might be harsh on others at times, but i am harsher on myself.
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it's amusing, because my mum thinks i'm ano. just because my meals on sat and sun were totally screwed.

Saturday -
no breakfast cos i was late for flag day
no lunch cos i was at flag day
doublecheese burger at 3.30pm
no dinner cos i was still full and also guitar concert

Sunday -
slice of cake for breakfast
snack during kayaking
no lunch cos of kayaking
doublecheese burger at 4.45pm
no dinner cos i was full

HAHA she didn't know fri was andrea's-eat-a-lot-day.
and my mum thinks my apparent "obsession" with black tops has something to do with it. hello, this is me, the person who loves food and lives to eat!
and it was only for those two days that my meals were screwed cos of the activities i had.
i forgot to mention sometimes i'm too stressed to feel hunger.

bio pt tmr, xiaolianbi by tmr, math ws by tmr, physics ws, geog ws by thurs, gonghan by fri, eng reflections by fri.

plus the upcoming math test in wk 5, another math test in wk 9, the upcoming physics pt and ss pt. great my life totally rocks.
i hate my life (sometimes.)

rinjani (:

a piece of heaven?

count the stars

beauty in symmetry

`wordsofthecynical
5:36 pm

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